


Our Love is Piss

by purplelabrat



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Sauna, Unrequited Love, magic spit, pissboy taka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28321851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplelabrat/pseuds/purplelabrat
Summary: Taka was now in his dorm room. He was currently sodding into his pillow.Until he arrivedA Kiyotaka x Monakuma fic
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Monokuma, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, past - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Our Love is Piss

Taka should have realized the signs when Mondo stopped touching him. Ever since the sauna incident happened Mondo and Taka were peas in a pod. They were always next to each other, giving each other bro hugs, and having sleepovers. During the morning, before the morning announcement came on, the pair would go to the sauna for a quick bath. The black haired boy would stare intensely at the other man’s muscles and sweat dripping down his chest. Mondo would catch him staring and would laugh it off. Just normal friend things. It was nice until he came along. 

Piss Mcgee had everyone kissing the floor he walked on. He was gorgeous, he was a catboy who everyone simped for, his yellow fur flowy in the wind and eyeliner streaming down his face. He was a short fellow, only reaching Mondo's belt. Piss had a pair of demonias which left a threatening presence to any room he walked in. Even Sakura was sweating when she heard the loud thuds of Piss’ boots echo through the hallways. Piss was also the ultimate catboy. Having such an unique ultimate all the students were in love, even Mondo Owada. 

(Piss is a new student. Monakuma had brought him in as a motive in chapter 1 but no one was killing each other so he just brought in the tapes)

Mondo started spending more time with Piss and less time in the bathhouse. Taka could see how Mondo would put his hand over the catboy’s torso, just like how we used to do with him. The hall monitor could always join them, maybe it would feel less painful seeing how his best friend could replace him so easily. Unfortunately, Taka felt jealous. Mondo was his and only his, he made him feel special like no one has before. What did this twink have that Taka didn’t? 

Taka pushed down these feelings as hard as he could, this was just a phase, Mondo will realize that this cat didn’t care for him and was using him. Then Mondo would come running back to Taka, and go to the bathhouse apologizing saying he would never leave his side again. The special feeling would come back and they would go back being bros! 

Right?

The hall monitor needed to let off some steam. He could deal with the hand holding, he could handle the pet names Mondo would call Piss, hell he can even handle how Mondo looked happier around Piss. It’s like his walls were broken down because of this sonic ripoff. Taka just needed a bath. A nice, cool bath where Mondo and Piss were out of sight. 

*************

The towel was on the floor, tears dripping down Taka’s face which was as pale as snow. The air felt heavy, it was a challenge to breathe, the steam coming from the room didn’t help either. Taka closed his eyes, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, this had to be a dream. He never screamed harder in his life until this moment. 

The screams echoed to the sauna where Mondo and Piss were in.   
“Taka it’s not what it looks like,” Mondo spoke softly, trying to hush the crying man from making any more noise. If Taka kept on screaming the other students would come storming in and further embarrass the muscular man. 

“M-Mondo what is- why are you- I-” Taka hiccuped through his words. Snort was all over his face. His vision was blurry, which made it difficult to see where he can only make out Piss who was a blob of yellow and Mondo was suddenly right in front of him. Mondo’s hands were hovering over the crying boy, scared of breaking Taka since he seemed so fragile. 

“Listen man- It’s hard to explain,” Mondo lets out a sigh and brushes his finger through his hair.

“Me and Piss are in a happy relationship together. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you were gonna act like this,” Mondo says. Fresh tears fell down Taka’s cheek. He noticed that Mondo couldn’t even make eye contact with him anymore. 

“What does Piss have that I don’t?!” Taka hisses out of anger. 

“You’re not a catboy Taka and you’ll never be.”

Mondo’s voice was thick. It didn’t sound like Mondo. His Mondo was loud and didn’t care what others thought of him. But his voice sounded ashamed, embarrassed. 

Taka’s heart sank. His knees started to wobble. Just by that simple sentence, his world started to crumble.

“I think you should leave.” Piss says. Mondo had just retreated back to the sauna. His arms were now wrapped Piss as he tried his best to not stare at Taka’s heartbroken eyes. 

So Taka did

*************

Taka was now in his dorm room. He was currently sodding into his pillow. 

Until he arrived

“Puhuhuhu what’s this? I thought my motive was gonna work for sure! Maybe you can drown Piss in Piss! Monokuma giggled as he suddenly came out of nowhere. 

“I have no intention to do such a thing! I don’t hate Piss I just- WAAHHHH” Taka wailed as he shoved his pillow against his face again.   
“Awwww is little pissbaby gonna piss his pants? Gonna cry? Gonna cum?” Monokuma laughed as he watched the pathetic gay dude cry. 

It seems that Monokuma’s teasing isn’t doing anything. The Phoenix Wright wannabe was still being a little pissbaby. Monakuma groaned and sat next to Taka on his bed while he cried. 

“Y'know uhhhhh Kilogram? Karadiasian? Stock Market? Taco? Takeout?” Monokuma guesses. 

“I-Its Taka,” Taka hiccups through his words again. He was still continuing to wail, trying to ignore the weird bear.

“TAKA. Yes I knew that! Now listen here eyebrows, I’m gonna do what I normally do when my cubs get sad! I’m only doing this because I don’t wanna clean up your piss in the morning.” Monokuma rolled his eyes as he prepared his trick. 

“But I didn’t piss-” Taka was interrupted by Monokuma’s tongue licking his entire body. 

The licking continued for hours

Monokuma’s mouth soon ran dry and his tongue retreated to his mouth. Taka is traumatized by this event. 

“Puhuhuhuhu you tasted salty Taka! Probably because of your pissbaby tears!” Monokuma laughed as he chugged down his Baja Blast. 

Meanwhile Taka had spit all over him. First his boyfriend left him for an edgy sonic oc and now this? Taka was grateful he didn’t get vored by this monochrome bear. 

Taco was about to scream at Monokuma because of how unsanitary licking someone can be until he got a rush of serotonin going through his body. 

“You look spooked! Yep my spit can cure depression! This is why your sexy headmaster is always happy!” Monokuma explains. 

“Wow maybe I was wrong after all….You really are a great friend Monokuma. Even though you killed my friend Leon brutally which caused me to have nightmares about it all night! But you cured my depression so thank you! Taka beamed. 

“Well look on the brightside! You won’t get nightmares anymore because of my antidepressant spit!” Monokuma said.

“Oh Pog!” Taka smiles and puts his hand against Monokuma’s paws.   
“Y’know Monokuma you are really my little Pogchamp I think I love you Monokuma. I am totally not developing feelings this fast because the author is tired and focusing is hard!” Taka leans up to Monakuma’s face waiting for a kiss. 

“Valid the author is really sexy and doesn't need to waste another 2 hours writing this crack fic! But I will be your little Pogchamp!” Monokuma cries happy tears and kisses his beloved Taka. 

Suddenly Monokuma gets on 2 knees Shane Dawson style and pulls out a gun. 

“I was going to do this somewhere better but….will you marry me?” 

Taka cried happy tears and nodded and they made out again. 

“Hey Monobaby wanna stay the night?” Taka winked. 

“But Taka….THERE’S ONLY 1 BED!” Monokuma gasped. 

“We can cuddle tho!” Taka explains 

“Omg yesssss let’s do it and do marriage fraud!” Monokuma yells. 

“Wait Babe what’s marriage fraud?” Taka asks. 

“You poor foolish Taka. Marriage fraud is where two men get- two women- two- shit - anyone gets married, and then- and then- and then they fall apart, and then the other one- listen, Taka, the other one probably owns a knife or some shit. And then what they do is they go and rob a bank together as frauds.” Monokuma puts his hand over Taka’s shoulder as he explains the great sin. 

“Also my bear spit can cause people to be pregnannt!” 

“WHAT?! But yeah that seems fair I wanna name my child 11037 but pronounce it as Noel!” Taka says. 

“Poggers” 

(Noel is Jesus because he’s born at Christmas btw)


End file.
